dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
