Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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