In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize