mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
