I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
