For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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