so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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