I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I look better un-naked...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
