I'm so fucking centered right now
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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