Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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