Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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