dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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