Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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