hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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