I'm really into asian looking animals
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
