Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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