We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
