Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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