you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
