the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
