i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
