Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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