Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
