Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
