i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
