It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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