you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
