just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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