I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
