im drinking this country out of the recession.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
