help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize