I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
