Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
