I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
