dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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