he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
