can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
