I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
