im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
