I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
