His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
