clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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