My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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