Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
