she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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