great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize