i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
