is your mom at the bar?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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