i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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