Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
