dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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