Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
