Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
