If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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