I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
