Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
