Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
people are starting to question the shark bite story
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
