I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
