I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize