I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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