sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
