But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
