You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
