I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
