i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
